What makes someone a mom? Is adoption just the easy way out?
Well, no-shit, people of couse she's a mom. However, most people on Twitter seem to disagree. What is a mother? A mother can be a lot of things. Most people consider a mother to be the main female role in a child's life. However, others claim if you are ever give birth to a baby, you are technically a mother. To me- a mother is someone who has maternal instincts that tell them to do all you can to give that child the best life possible.
I just re-watched Ashley Salazar's episode of 16 & Pregnant. Anyone who says she's not a mother go back and watch the parts after she gives birth. When her Aunt and Uncle come in to hold the baby, just look at her face. Any mother considering adoption probably felt similar emotions. She just didn't know what to do. On one note, she could give Callie to her Aunt and Uncle and know she would be taken care of. However, will Callie understand that later on or will she feel abandoned by her biological mother? What if Ashley would have kept her? What if she could have made a great life for Callie and adoption wasn't necessary.
Based off her episode, it seemed as if she wasn't ready to make the decision in the short time she had. Everyone questioning whether or not to choose adoption constantly hears, "Do what's best for your baby" and "Give your baby a better life than you could give." Any first time mother hearing these things would naturally begin to doubt themselves and their own maternal abilities. Sometimes these phrases are followed by a 'but do what you want' or 'but it's your choice'- which, to me, kind of sounds like a guilt trip. However, after Ashley decided to go through with the adoption, she soon regretted the decision.
She gets Callie back and spends a few weeks raising her. That is when more mother instincts began to kick in. She was learning how to take care and raise a baby, but became concerned leaving her with someone else while she had to work or go to school. She even stated in her episode she didn't feel safe leaving her with someone else. I feel like somewhere around this time is when her mommy senses were in full power. She understood that her Aunt and Uncle could provide her with everything she needed in a more positive environment. I'm not saying Ashley couldn't have done it on her own, but I'm sure Callie would have picked up on how difficult it was, causing stress in the home. Kids are more intuitive than you'd think, they pick up on more than we know. Ashley was truly blessed in this situation, because she got to give her daughter to her family instead of a stranger.Many people bash her for going back and forth with the idea of adoption. But honestly, it's a huge decision, she was young, and wasn't sure what she should do. Her mom was a young mother as well, but decided to keep her. But no two situations are exactly the same. By taking Callie back for the short time she did, I think it gave her peace of mind. Most adoptive parents will always wonder 'what if' for the rest of their lives, which is normal. However, with the state of mind Ashley was in when she initially made the decision after the hospital, I think she would have struggled with it even more, if she didn't try on her own for a while.
I don't believe she failed as a mother, instead she really became a mother in those two weeks. She learned what 'do the best for your daughter' really means, rather than just rattling off the same strand of words every person going through adoption constantly hears.What do you think? Maybe my opinion is biased because I was adopted. I am thankful every single day that my biological mother decided to put me up for adoption because she really did give me a better life. All of this is based off my opinions after re-watching her episode, not based on interviewing Ashley. Anyway- I decided to post this because I've seen so many Twitter posts saying she's not a mom among other things. I think she's a mom, but a lot of people in Twitterland definitely don't. So what do you think?
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